Last week I ate spaghetti. Normally, this is not a monumental experience. If you know me at all, you know I eat spaghetti on a regular basis. However, this time was different. I ate spaghetti…with cheese. After six months of being dairy-free because of Eli’s milk allergy, I was finally able to enjoy some delicious dairy.
It was
a bittersweet day, however, because it was also the day that Eli was officially
weaned to formula. After many months of
going dairy-free, eliminating soy, and watching everything I ate, Eli was still
having blood in his stool, and we were at a loss as to why. We talked with our pediatrician, prayed for
wisdom, and finally decided that it would be better to start to wean him to
formula to give his little tummy some consistency. As I gradually added formula feedings, we saw
an immediate improvement, and now that he is exclusively on formula, he is a
much happier baby.
As
much as I loved that first bite of Parmesan cheese, I will be the first to
admit that this is not what I wanted. I
enjoyed nursing, and did not want to stop.
I would have gone dairy-free for a year if I thought it would have been
the best thing for Eli, but it was not.
I am thankful for our pediatrician who gave us advice, listened, and
encouraged me that I had not failed as a mother because of Eli’s milk allergy
and that in the six months I was able to nurse, he got plenty of
immunity-boosting nutrients.
I miss
nursing Eli, but I am infinitely happier that we made the choice to switch to formula
because it was what he needed.
Secondarily, it was also what I needed.
Dairy is the main source of calcium in my diet, and once I stopped
eating dairy, I felt awful. My joints
ached, my skin and nails dried out – even my muscles would cramp up. Normally, someone who stops eating dairy would
just take a calcium supplement, but I was not able to because it would
aggravate Eli (as would multi-vitamins).
It was also emotionally draining.
I was so vigilant about my diet, yet Eli continued to have blood in his
stool, and I felt personally responsible for his pain. At one point, all I was eating was chicken
noodle soup. Again, I am thankful for
our pediatrician who gently reminded me that it is sometimes incredibly
difficult to pinpoint what in my diet was making him sick.
Looking
back, I am grateful for the time that I was able to nurse. Even though I missed eating dairy, it was
worth it to be able to nurse for as long as I did. Honestly, I still struggle with not being
able to nurse. There are moments when I
still get sad about it, but I have peace knowing that it was the right decision
for Eli.
My
hope is that this post encourages other Moms who have stopped nursing (or were
never able to) for whatever reason. I
have long felt that there are strongly-opinionated groups and mothers who, in
their zeal to let Moms know what is best for their babies, can make Moms feel
like they have failed or that they have made the wrong decision. Every baby is different. I have had different pregnancy, labor, and
nursing experiences with each of my three children. Every time I think I have something figured
out as a Mom, one of my kids throws me for a loop. Moms, let us remember that though we may be
well-intentioned, we sometimes need to keep our personal opinions to
ourselves. Unless someone asks you
specifically your opinion about a non-essential parenting issue, it can be
extremely unhelpful to tell them what they “need” to do. When it comes to your children and family,
seek wise counsel, pray for wisdom, and then make a decision based on what is
the best for your family.
Thank
you all for praying for me and supporting me during these last six months. I already mentioned how thankful I was for
our pediatrician (twice), but I am also thankful for my incredible husband and
family for loving me during this time.
They graciously refrained from eating or mentioning dairy in front of
me, and even ate my new dairy-free recipes (let’s just say some turned out
better than others). Thank you to all of
you who have shared your experiences with me and who have encouraged me by
sharing your recipes and hugs. God has
been incredibly gracious to me in so many ways, and this experience is yet
another reminder of how the Lord has blessed me more than I deserve.
