Monday Melodies

Look at that gorgeous little face - it just melts the heart. My Emma may have a common name, but she is so wonderful and unique. Before I had children, I prayed for a precocious child, and boy, does God know how to answer prayer! She is amazingly smart, cunning, and curious and it has been a joy to watch her grow and develop her vibrant personality.

Recently, Emma has begun to SING, SING, SING (a girl after her mom's own heart, no doubt)! She can be in the middle of playing and will break out into "I Have a Dream" or "Mother Knows Best" (courtesy of the Tangled soundtrack Papa got her). Today, in particular, the serenades have been filling the air non-stop and I couldn't love them more.

The sweetest songs she sings are hymns she has learned. I will forever be grateful to "Ava's mommy" (better known as Heather Payne) for her album, Sweet Exchange, because it is responsible for my three-year-old melodiously singing:

Man of Sorrows! What a name
For the Son of God, Who came
Ruined sinners to reclaim.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

What beautiful words Emma sings! It is our greatest hope as parents that one day she understands and identifies with these words. If, like Emma, you have a song, then SING, SING, SING! "Sing to the LORD, for he has done glorious things; let this be known in all the world." Isaiah 12:5

As for the Emma, we cannot wait to see how the Lord will work in her life. She is a born learner who keeps us on our toes, but we love it! Keep singing, Emma Lynne - you are music to our ears!

Our Little Man

When I found out I was pregnant with our second baby, I was hoping for a girl. I wanted Emma to have a sister and besides, we already had enough pink to last a lifetime. So, when the ultrasound introduced us to our little boy, I was excited, but woefully aware that we needed to do some serious shopping to bulk up on some blue.

A few months later, they placed that little boy in my arms, and my life has never been the same. You never think you could possibly love anyone as much as your first baby, but when he looked up at me with those gorgeous blue eyes (courtesy of daddy), I knew I was in trouble. Ethan has been such a joyful and loving baby (just like his big sister) and I am so blessed to have him as my son. He has such a sweet temperament and has brought so much joy to our family with his smiles.

Children are such a gift from God because they teach us about humility, obedience, trust, and love. They are a constant reminder to me of the goodness of God seen in their little lives and every day He uses them to teach me a truth that I need to learn or one I have forgotten.

So this blog post is for my little man. Ethan - I am honored to be your mom and I love you!

With my little man on New Year's

"Confessing the Sins of a Seminarian"

In the latest edition of The Towers (Southern Seminary's weekly newspaper), Chris came across an amazing and sad article. Titled, "Husbands, love your wived more than seminary: confessing the sins of a seminarian", the anonymous author tells of his failed marriage and warns other seminary husbands against the same fate. The article was so powerful, that we wanted to share it with you (to download The Towers as a PDF, click here):

Too Much study – the weariness of the flesh
Nothing will throw off your graduation date like a divorce. Does a husband’s subjective call to ministry relativize his objective, biblical command to love his wife? Regardless of how I might have answered this question in a theological paper, the true answer of my heart was exposed by my actions. Some said my marriage issues were normal for a seminarian, even appropriate for my “season of life.” My sinful heart exploited this poor counsel to justify my negligence as a husband. If you’re better at spotting immature husbands than I am, then you would quickly see that though I would have argued that no ministry opportunity — including the opportunity to attend seminary — undermines Ephesians 5:25, my true answer could be seen in how I talked to my wife. You could see it in how I touched her, when I did. If you were to come to my home, you might have sensed that my study, neatly adorned with shelves of books, was my pride and joy. But I happily left the upkeep of the rest of the house to my wife. You may have noticed my drive to write creative sermons and talk theology with classmates, but a deflated effort creatively to engage my wife in conversation. My eyes lit up over my syllabi, but I had little response over my wife’s new haircut or her plans for the day or a new recipe she was eager to try. To my shame, I could spot the subtle ways heretical worldviews creep into the church, but I paid little attention to the subtle ways resentment crept into my wife’s heart. I jumped to unpack the mysteries behind Christ’s tears as He hung alone on the cross, but I left alone the mystery of my wife’s tears as she, once again, went to bed alone because her husband “needed” to study. Aft er all, I was in seminary, and shouldn’t she support God’s calling on my life? She should be stronger, trust God’s plan more, and be more understanding of the demands of my calling, right? Wrong. At the end of the day, I gave heart service to my time at seminary, but only lip service to Ephesians 5, and it cost me my marriage.

Studious or self-deceived
Husbands, I have found that discerning whether or not we adequately love our wives is rarely something we can do on our own. If I were to ask you, “On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you think your wife feels loved by you?” many of us would likely rate ourselves higher than our wives would. Sure, no Christian man would have the audacity to rate himself a 10. We all know we are sinners. But, our hearts are incredibly self-biased, and finding where we truly land on the scale almost always requires a second set of eyes. Somewhere along the way, we seminary students become really awesome at calling out sin apart from true heart change. After all of our trivial confessions, we may remain oblivious to how we are deeply wounding our wives because we end up loving her on our own terms. We can even wind up blaming her for a difficult marriage when the difficulty is really because we husbands don’t know how to dig deep enough to see our sin.

Gospel-focused affection
I humbly want to serve as that second set of eyes. As I think about my own marriage breakdown, I want to off er a few things I wish I would have more seriously considered during my time as a seminarian:Tell your wife you love her regularly. Deeply dwell on the Gospel. Your affection for your wife can only go as deep as your aff ection for the person and work of Christ. Because marriage is a picture of how Christ has loved His church, if your heart has grown cold toward the cross, you can be sure it has grown cold toward your marriage. Thus, do everything possible to keep your heart soft toward Jesus. Read books about the cross. Listen to music about the cross. Try to constantly maintain a posture of wonder about being reconciled to God through Christ; this is the foundation for true love for any marriage. Remember that marriage is Gospel ministry. If you do not hold your marriage in high esteem (Heb 13:4), you do not truly hold Gospel ministry in high esteem. Th e size of your library is a poor indicator of how seriously you take the Gospel. Your marriage is where the audit needs to happen. I think this is what Paul is getting at when he asks, “For if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church” (1 Tim 3:5)?

Tell your wife you love her regularly
I have also found that your class notes may not be the best devotional material for your wife. Fight to ensure that you and your wife’s affections for Christ flow from sources other than seminary. Never sacrifice intimacy for study. For some couples this means going to sleep at the same time, for others it means eating breakfast together every morning. Either way, budget time for intimacy. Manage your time better throughout the day, or take a lighter load of classes. Furthermore, show interest in her schedule. Tell her you love her regularly. Fight peripheral laziness. One thing that will surely make it an uphill battle for your wife to respect you is if she sees you work hard at seminary but act like a slob everywhere else. Be tender during theological discussion with your wife. If she’s not as robust a student as you, she’ll likely not find the same things interesting. In conversation, she’ll likely not go as deep as you, and she may even contradict what you have just learned in class. Yet, gently affirm her knowledge of Christ. You are the pastor of your home; shepherd your wife, making the most of your theological education. Do everything you can to ensure that she feels safe expressing her heart regarding your study habits, ministry or projected graduation date. Always be grateful for a wife who knows Christ. Fervently pray for her heart, even when times are good. Pray that God would keep Satan from using your sins as a seminarian to turn her away from Christ and His church. Tell her you love her regularly. Always remember that God doesn’t need you, your gifts or your ministry. If He did, why did He create you so late in history? Cultivate your marriage behind closed doors because “your Father who sees in secret will reward you” (Matt 6:4). Oh, and tell her you love her regularly.

God, wife, seminary
It is ironic that I have seen seminary be the place where many have been disqualified from ministry. It is clear in Scripture that the Holy Spirit specifically appoints certain men as leaders by gifting them and putting it in their hearts to serve joyfully in the context of a local church (Acts 20:28; cf. 1 Tim 3:1ff ). It’s a noble desire. It can be an all-consuming desire. But, with this desire comes the responsibility to humbly prioritize one’s life in such a way that prevents a subtle disregard for God’s written word. God has not commanded husbands to love seminary. He has commanded that we love our wives and strive to protect our marriages, even from something as noble as our ministry call. Take it from me. My projected graduation date was December 2010. I was one semester away from earning my M.Div. when I decided I needed to take my marriage seriously. It was too late at that point. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church. Love your wives more than seminary.

"Dear Lord"

Every night before dinner, our family prays for the food and for other people in our lives. Usually, Emma is too distracted by her "spabetti" to really focus. Tonight, she was playing with her stuffed cat, Cleo, and we overheard her praying. Eager to seize the moment, we asked if she would pray at dinner tonight and she jumped at the chance. Her prayer went something like this, "Dear Lord - thank you for this food and for mommy and daddy and Ethan and Nani and Papa and for this food . . . AMEN!"

Tonight was a great reminder for us that, as parents, we need to continually and purposefully be encouraging the things of God in our house. Emma loves learning, and we want to use that to teach her the good news of the gospel of Christ. Of course the Holy Spirit will have to bring her to repentance and faith, but we want to plant as many seeds as we can in her and Ethan's little lives because there is nothing we desire more as parents than to see them both become believers.

"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."

Deuteronomy 6:4-7

Our Little Prayer

Happy Valentine's Day!

If you are among those who think Valentine's Day is a made-up holiday with no real discernible purpose other than to make the people at Hallmark very rich, you may hate this post. For those of you who, like me, enjoy the day and see it as a good opportunity to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you, then, this post is for you.

Emma, Ethan, and I recently traveled back to Michigan to help my parents care for my grandparents (who are now fine). On the suggestion of my wise dad, my mom, Emma, and I baked some sugar cookies for Valentine's Day and it was so fun to watch Emma learn how to bake. Here is a video of Emma adding her "special ingredient" to the batter:

Don't worry - the germs bake out!

Baking with Nani

Emma checking out the finished product

And once the Valentine's Day train got rolling, it was hard to stop. After cookies, we decided to make some cards with glitter (not the worst idea we have ever had, but let's just say I will be washing glitter out of my hair for a very long time). Last, we made a paper chain out of pink, white, and red construction paper. Here is the culmination of our crafting:

Our Valentine's Day Decorations

So, Valentine's cynic or not, we hope you enjoyed spending it with those you love. Happy Valentine's Day from the Dilleys!

Look, Mom!

Usually, the phrase "Look, Mom!" means there is some sort of disaster awaiting your parental discovery. A few days ago, however, I was pleasantly surprised to see that Emma had begun to write some letters and numbers on her own while she was coloring. We are still learning to recognize all the letters and numbers so I haven't taught her to write them, so I was very impressed with her early skill. I know every parent says their child is a genius, but I still think mine is. Here are her first written letters:

Emma's Handiwork

Imported From Detroit

Someone from Chrysler must be reading my blog, because they premiered a new commercial during the Superbowl about Detroit that even included a Wizard of Oz reference. I loved it, and thought you might enjoy seeing it as well (for those of you who read my earlier blog on Detroit, keep an eye out for the Fox Theater).

Night Owls

I love sleeping. I love going to bed, dreaming, and waking up refreshed. When I was little, I used to ask my mom, "can I go to bed?" Sadly, Ethan does not share this love. After months of hoping and praying for a night of uninterrupted sleep, I have accepted that my little man (at least for now) is a night owl. What's more, God has been using my night owl to teach me and remind me of some important truths:

1. God's mercies are new every morning. Lamentations 3:22-23 says, "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Never has this truth been more evident to me than during this time in my life. As you moms can attest, nighttime is the most physically draining time to be up with a baby. Your body is naturally tired and isn't all that thrilled to be awake when it should be sleeping. However, God has supernaturally sustained me time and time again and has given me renewed strength to get up each morning and start a new day.
   
   
2. Babies are a blessing. When my daughter was born, I was unable to stay home and returned to work when she was six weeks old. Although the Lord used that time to teach us a lot, Chris and I decided we wanted to wait to have another baby until I was able to stay home - mainly because it is incredibly hard to work and be a mom. We prayed and waited (pretty impatiently) for two and a half years before the Lord made it financially possible and we were blessed with Ethan. That being said, every time I have been tempted to complain about my lack of sleep, I am constantly reminded that Ethan is a living, breathing, realized answer to our prayer. I would rather be up at 2:00 am with Ethan in my arms than asleep without him in my life. He and his big sister are amazing blessings from the Lord that I never want to take for granted.
   
   
3. Babies don't stay babies. Every mother can attest that she has heard the "it goes by so fast" speech from countless friends, family members, and strangers. Really, the one who has taught me this lesson the most is Emma. It is hard to believe that the little baby girl I held in my arms for the first time one rainy November morning is now a three-year-old that begins her sentences with "Mom, first of all . . . " After I decided to stop spending those sleepless nights wishing to be back in bed, I realized that I am getting some quality extra time with my baby boy that I might not otherwise have. One day, he will be that three-year-old. Until then, I want to enjoy every moment during this stage of his life.
   
   
4. Even good things can become an idol. As I mentioned earlier, I love sleep. There is nothing wrong with that. Sleep is a gift from God for us to rest and renew our bodies. However, there came a point a few months ago where I was dragging myself out of bed in the middle of night with an ungrateful and bitter heart. As I held Ethan in my arms, I came to the horrible realization that I loved sleep more than I loved my son - it had become an idol. I was spending those precious moments worshiping at the altar of my own desire for sleep instead of worshiping God for his grace and goodness in my life. That moment remains one of the most humbling moments in my walk with the Lord, and I am grateful that the Lord graciously opened my eyes to my sin.
   
   
5. God is in control - I am not. If there is ever a time when God exposes your utter need for him, it is when you become a parent. Children do not come with instructions, and it is easy to try to rely on your own ideas and strength to try and "fix" your parenting problems. I have learned, though, that God uses my children to teach me that, ultimately, he is in control and I am not. For those of you yet to be parents, newborns do not take instruction well. They don't care how many parenting books you have read or classes you have taken. They do what they want, when they want to do it. Not to say that books and classes and methods cannot be useful or to suggest that you let your children do whatever they want to do (they eventually become old enough to teach), but God is in control and may be using your parental situation to teach you some valuable lessons about the goodness and greatness of God - just as he is using Ethan to teach me.

There will come a night when I won't be awakened by the hooting of my little night owl. When that night comes, I will gladly welcome the extra sleep. For now, though, I am counting my blessing and enjoying the precious moments in the still of the night with my son. I love you Ethan.

I'm Never Getting Married

According to my dad, there is a slip of paper with my signature that has the phrase, "I will never get married." Supposedly, I promised my dad that I would never get married. Said piece of paper has yet to be found (which, to my dad's chagrin, let me out of our deal), but I fully intend on getting a similar promise from my little girl.

Last week, we headed to the dress store to try on bridesmaid dresses for my sister-in-law's upcoming wedding. As you can see from the photos below - we are in trouble. She could not get enough of the dress she had on and even got up on the pedestal and twirled around in front of the mirrors.

Chris thinks that the Lord will come back before she gets married. I hope he is right, but in case he's not, I better take a cue from my dad and get my own "I'm Never Getting Married" signature. This time, though, we'll be sure not to lose it!

Posing for the camera

My gorgeous little girl